Editor's note: This is the text of a letter we received from a lady who wanted help finding Scripture texts that oppose contraception. She knew more than we did! With her permission I would like to share it with you.

The following letter is one that I wrote to my niece who is planning to get married soon. I changed the names, but maybe you can use, or improve the letter.

May God bless you and your work,

Christina S.

June 10, 2002

Dear Mary,

I would like you to know something about your great grandfather that may help you find more peace and love in your future marriage than you ever thought possible. Grandpa Hornung loved the Blessed Mother so much that he wanted to be married in the month of May and wanted his first child to be born in May to honor the Blessed Mother. Grandma and Grandpa were married in May, then waited three months to consummate their marriage, so that their first child, my Uncle Andy, would be born in May, which he was. To me, that is one of the most beautiful acts of love I have ever heard.

Grandpa was not lusting after his new bride, but was fully aware that sex was not just a pleasurable act, but by consummating his marriage he was making his wife family. He was offering the life within himself, as she was offering the life within her. The two were joining together so completely, that no human could ever separate those parts.

I could think of no greater gift I could give to you for your future marriage than to try, to the best of my abilities, to help you understand how to truly be self-giving in your marriage, to make it truly a happy one. I believe with all my heart that contraception is morally evil. Historically it was condemned, it makes the sex act into a lie, it devalues the dignity of a woman into an object of pleasure, it is contrary to the Christian meaning of self giving, it sends the wrong message to the children: a message of selfish materialism. (Children become an expensive accident, or mistake that drain you financially for 18 years.) Unfortunately, our culture of self-indulgences has influenced our ideas down to the most intimate and private matters, such as sex. I pray that you will be strong enough to not be pressured into using any contraception after you understand all the facts.

Until 1930 all Christians condemned contraception, and until 1960 contraception was against the law in the United States. Before 1930 every Christian denomination said that sex is not just for pleasure, the purpose is for family bonding and babies. Intercourse was for making unbreakable covenantal family bonds. Take away the bonding and babies, then sex is for fun.

The Supreme Court has recognized the connection between abortion and contraception. Abortion is just birth control, after conception! If you can kill the helpless child at the beginning of life, why not euthanasia, the helpless at the end of life? If the purpose of sex is for pleasure and fun, why can't two men give each other a little homosexual pleasure? Why not sell the pleasure in prostitution, or pornography? Why not adultery, a little fun with the secretary? What is wrong with date rape, even if she doesn't realize she is giving him a little pleasure? Child molestation just becomes teaching the kids to have fun. You can see how all these evils we have today are consequences of acceptance of immorality - contraception.

I truly believe that each child is a gift from God, and I have never regretted having one of them. Even the seven I lost in heaven have already had completely successful lives. Now I just need to get the other six there. If God should bless me with another child, I would be very happy with His gift. I would really love to have another child because I realize how much each one has enriched my life.

Without the Christian view, sex becomes another job to complete before going to sleep. Many women have told me they feel almost like a prostitute, earning their living, just an instrument used for his satisfaction. It was not much different from giving their husband a back rub, which also showed they cared. Women I know say they felt like they were being used, like an object for stress relief.

Nobody wants to be treated as an object of lust. It seems to be such a put down for women. It is as if something is wrong with women: that is why we need "the Pill." We are not as good as men who can have sex, without having a baby grow inside them. We are defective, and better get "fixed," even though our bodies are already working the way they were designed, by God.

I truly believe that contraception has done nothing good for women, or men. Sex, without commitment, becomes casual sex, and the whole meaning of the act is lost. I could really relate to what these other women were telling me about how they felt. I know, for me, without the meaning, the act becomes a waste of time. As I studied the Bible, and came back to the Christian faith, I learned the meaning and it brought so much beauty to the very act. It brought unselfish love back to our marriage. It is exciting and, above all, holy.

I'll list a few things which I find so awesome. The marriage ceremony was never what bound the couple together: it was intercourse that made them one flesh - sometimes literally. It was the making of a covenantal bond. The covenant was an unbreakable family bond. After the two become one flesh literally no man can divide them. Think of trying to give back the part of you that is your father's, or give your mother's part back to her. Every time we engage in intercourse, we are renewing that covenantal marriage bond, whether it produces a child or not. We are saying with our bodies, "I accept you, completely, until death do us part." It is only in your death that the parts of your mother separate from your father, but no man could ever figure out whose was who. No man could ever separated what God has joined. The two become one, so much so that there are three. A perfect image of the Trinity. So much so that you have to name that third person nine months later. Grandma and Grandpa named him after Grandpa, "Andrew Hornung"

God is love, and Jesus is God made flesh. He is the Incarnation of love, yet our children are nothing less than our love, made flesh. They are the incarnation of our love, in which we participate with God in the creation of a new immortal being! Jesus talked about the seed that falls on the fertile ground being fruitful, (Mt. 13 and Lk 8:4-15). The word for seed is sperma in Greek, the same place we get the word sperm, and children are fruit of the womb, (Lk 1:42).

We are told also that God represents the seed that, when it falls on fertile soil, grows into a new creation. We become a new creation in Christ, as a child may become a new creation in us. The Jews were rejected because they failed to be fruitful, (Mt 21:43). When we give ourselves to our spouse, it is very similar to the way we are to give ourselves to God, without holding anything back.

For many years it could have been martyrdom for the woman, with the risk of death, in childbirth. Remember the seed must die before it will grow into new life, (Jn 12:24). This is a dying to our self-wills, as Christ died on the cross for us. What parent doesn't die to self-will, with sleepless nights and the humility of dirty diapers and vomit, so they may give the best to their children.

Children teach us to be less selfish, and more Godlike, as we try to put their need before our own selfish wants. As children we think we love our parents, but realize there is no comparison to how much we love our children. As children of God, we think we love God, but there is no comparison to how much He loves us. God gives us rebellious children, to show us that He will also love us during our rebellious periods.

It is also very similar to the way God gives Himself to us, in Holy Communion. "Because the loaf of bread is one, we, though many, are one body, for we partake of the one loaf," (1 Cor. 10:17). Yet, the bread comes from grains of wheat, which must be crushed, before becoming bread, as Jesus died for us. Ephesians (1:15-22) talks about the Church as Christ Body, yet also goes on to compare husbands and wives to Christ and His Church, (5:21-32). (1 Cor. 6:15-16) "Do you not know your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take Christ's members and make them the members of a prostitute? Of course not! [Or] do you not know that anyone who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For 'the two,' it says, 'will become one flesh.' But whoever is joined to Lord becomes one spirit in him." Without the meaning, I become an object of pleasure, instead of a committed partner joining my life together possibly through all eternity within a new creation. Even if it is only symbolically, (sex during infertile times), the meaning behind the complete self-giving is still there. It lifts the act into such a loving and life-giving act, that the excitement is overwhelming. It is like sex becomes one of the holiest things we can do, where we can actually participate with God in the creation of a life that has the possibility of eternal happiness.

Do you really want to put chemicals in your body that could kill you with cancer in a few years? Or do you want to chemically kill a new baby which may start to grow in you? That is what the pill does, if you happen to get pregnant while using it. You take a pill, or get a shot when you are sick. By taking those drugs, you are saying there is something wrong with being a woman. Women are not good enough the way God made them? You are risking your health and life for selfish pleasure. When you finally decide you want a child, the pill could have made you sterile. After all, how many year have you told your body it was pregnant before you decide "the time is right?" You are saying you don't care enough about the future to give up pleasure, to keep from hurting yourself or your baby. Then again, what if it does not work anyway? Are you "ready for a child?"

I guess you can understand why I would refuse any contraception. It destroys the meaning behind the act. You would be saying: "I take you for my husband, but not your manhood, not your fertility. Or Joseph would say to you: "I take you, Mary, for my wife, just not the part that is female." Why doesn't he marry a male, if he wants a lover that will not get pregnant?

Don't get me wrong, I know you are getting married. You think that one of the benefits is that you can have sex, without any guilt. There is a way that you can avoid children, before you are ready, without treating each other like objects. It is actually more effective than contraception. It is a method that takes courage, and self control. It is not for wimps. It is Natural Family Planning (NFP) and is promoted by the Couple to Couple League (CCL). There is really only one week, (8 to 10 days) per month that you can get pregnant. You just have to know when that is. Many Catholic hospitals teach a class, about once a month, or just call a Catholic Church in your area to find out where classes are being held. Do it before your are married, so you have a few months to practice, before you actually need it. It is neat to have almost a second honeymoon each month after the fertile time. Sex doesn't become something that is just taken for granted.

Please forgive my tangent. The more I think about the subject, the more upset I get. If only somebody would have the courage to tell the world, and get them to listen. Let's just pray there will be an end to all contraception. We need somebody to convert the world. It started with 12 people before. Are you interested? I am trying to tell as many people as possible. If only people understood that they may be avoiding the consequences of their action - a baby - but the consequences they reap are far worse - abortion, divorce, homosexuality, rape, euthanasia, pornography, and the breakdown of the family and all morality.

I know, if you and Joseph take this message to heart, your marriage will be so much happier than you ever thought possible! I pray that God will truly bless your union and give it the grace you need to make it last, "until death do you part!"

May God bless you and Joseph forever,

Christina S.

P. S. You may want to read The Bible and Birth Control: by Charles D. Provan. It asks on the back cover:

"What church group ruled in the 1600's that a church official found guilty of birth control was no longer allowed to hold his position? . . . . . . . . . . . the Pilgrims"

"Who declared that birth control was sodomy? . . . . . . . . Luther"

I want you to look at some the Biblical reasons against contraception (which is in line with 2,000 years of Church Tradition. You would be amazed at how the Early Church Fathers condemned all forms of birth control as evil.)

Remember, God commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, (Gn 1:27-28, 9:1, & 35:11). He never changed that commandment!

Ps 127:3-5 - children are a gift from God, blessed is a full quiver

1 Chr 25:5 - God gave Heman 14 sons & 3 daughters to exalt him

1 Chr 26:4-5 - God indeed blessed Obed-edom with 8 sons

Hos 9:10-17 - Israel is punished with childlessness

Ex 23:25-26 - blessings promised: no miscarrying or barrenness

Dt 7:13-14 - you will be blessed with no barrenness

Gn 38:9-10 - Onan killed for spilling his seed on the ground

Dt 25:5-10 - penalty for defying Levirate law: not death

Rom 1:25-27 - natural function of women (=childbearing)

1 Tim 2: 11-15 - women saved through the bearing of children

Gal 6:7 - God is not mocked-accepting pleasure, denying fruit

Mt 21:19, Mk 11:14 - Jesus cursed fruitless fig tree